i have no interest or desire to do anything, go anywhere, …and on and on. i hate school and the situation of my life so much that at this point i can’t imagine doing anything/being anywhere else. i’m pissed off about so many things right now, and resentful about many others, and i’m finally now feeling better from being sick.
why is school such a bullshit mindfuck? and how pathetic is it that i’m struggling? and for what? i’ll probably still end up in a job i hate. what kind of fucking life is that? why do i have the nerve to act surprised?
all i want to do is wrap up in blankets and sleep until whenever the fuck i want to wake up.
but here’s what i have to do instead:
this week, not just right now…
1) for my accounting class: email my budget project; take an exam tomorrow; cumulative final on the 11th(*postponed)
2) for my humanities class: finish a paper; do a cultural event thing; final paper; presentation tomorrow
3) for my h.r. class: take a final on wed.
4) for my i.t. class: arrange some way to take the final i missed from being sick; interview and paper
5) for my law class: finish a research paper; finish my portfolio by thurs; take a final exam on thurs.
6) for school in general: take out more loan money to pay for summer school, which i now have to take to complete some bullshit course prerequisite chain of events type shit for a class i need to take in the fall. i’m not sure how much money i can get, especially if it’s based on my performance this semester… also i don’t fucking want to be here in the summer! kill my soul.
7) negotiate with work back home about my start date for break, because i’ll be here longer than i’d thought
seriously, i am completely miserable and pissed. i should get to work though, i suppose. i’m just going through the motions and counting down the hours and the days.
